Yesterday I was home with Mr. H for the whole day and talked to him for about a total of 20 minutes. When we were playing game two of Scrabble I realized I had said about 5 sentences since we started and mentioned to him that I was in one of my not talking moods.
See because that is the thing I am not a huge talker, sure if we have a Skype chat planned I will talk but if you just show up at my house unannounced you might be met with long stretches of silence. I am very comfortable in silence.
I am sure some of it has to do with being an only child till the age of 14 and was always content to play alone. Or maybe it is just the way I am, I have tons of thoughts and ideas but for the most part I am fine with keeping them to myself. Sometimes when I know that Mr. H and I are going out for lunch or drinks I will store up thoughts so I will for sure have something to talk about and not be the boringest person. After 5 years Mr. H obviously knows that I am not doing it on purpose to be mean to him or anything but I just feel so silly sometimes when we are out and everyone around us must be thinking we are the worst couple because we have not talked for like 10 minutes!
This is me and my grandmother, I am sure some of my reticence comes from her as if you are on a phone call with her sometimes you have to make sure she is there and the line is not dead because she is not a waster of words. I think it even shows in this picture but perhaps that is just because I know her.
I looked it up online to see the average number of words a person speaks in a day and while the data was a bit muddled it seems that a researcher said a woman usually speaks 20,000 words a day and a man 7,000. When I told that to Mr. H he agreed if that is true it is flipped in our house because I am just so quiet.
As I went to bed last night thinking of all this it made me realize why I am such an inconsistent blogger and why I do so good in my current life. On the days it is hard for me to blog it would probably also be hard to have a long conversation with me. It is not writers block that I am struggle from I think it is just my nature to be quiet. This predisposition is wonderful for my current place in life as a housewife. On any given day/week/month I usually only have real in life conversations with Mr. H and it is totally ok with me. When we were living in California and I worked full time and was seeing friends and family non stop I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. Now I can focus the limited energy and desire I have naturally have for communicating with others is put to good use and I get less frustrated with Mr. H.
Are you naturally loquacious or like me few with words?
The Hemborg Wife 
I’m a woman of very few words, as well. Though I find that while typing, I become much more chatty. I’m very shy and find that the internet is the perfect place to explore a more social side of myself. So, online; social butterfly. In person; wallflower!
I do agree that on the internet via blogging or Twitter I share much more than I would if I had just met you in real life!
It’s great that you’re comfortable with silence! I’m definitely more talkative, and I need to get used to the man-of-few-words that my husband is… I just want to know what’s going on in his mind!
Haha I think my husband feels that way at times with me but usually when I am really silent I am just thinking about books or crafts which would not entertain him anyways!
Interesting post – it’s good to be self-aware like this. I can be a nervous talker and then not shut up/unintentionally dig myself into a hole… and I think outloud – a lot. Both habits make me look crazy.
I used to be a very nervous talker but since Californians are so outgoing in general I did not realize it till I met my husband and he was like why are you telling everyone our business!
Oh my gosh. You’re like my husband.
He’s not a talker at all. Me? I take up enough air time for both of us. We go out to dinner and we don’t say anything. Seriously. Sometimes it bothers me but I’m learning that he just doesn’t have anything to say. Or that it takes a lot of effort and he’s tired. So, I started ordering appetizers.
Once I printed up a bunch of fun date night questions and we answered them. It was probably our most fun date ever. He didn’t have to come up with something to say he just answered the questions. No pressure.
I’m always pulling for more more more communication from my husband but am learning that backing off and waiting will produce good conversations if I’m patient.
Now, to your blog silence. I’d rather wait days/weeks for a good post that a bunch of nothing. Only blog when you have something to say. We don’t mind when your quiet. Really.
That sounds really fun to have questions to answer, I should do that!
I am an only child and it is always nice to hear another only child express their take on not being talkative. I am an incredibly quiet (and shy) person and I can be quite happy going about my day with no conversations (I’ve always found ways to entertain myself). I get really exhausted emotionally if I have to deal with a lot people or work in a large group. When I tell other people this they don’t often understand and frequently tell me I need to relax or that I am overreacting. So I can definitely relate to your feelings about being a very quiet person and how it can be perceived negatively by other people at times and how it really can be exhausting to be around a lot of people .
I know I very rarely meet other only children and love to compare as well!
Oh, I jabber like nobody’s business and if I’ve been home alone god help anyone who comes to meet me at the end of the day because I will just chew their ear off. I talk even when there is nothing to say!
That is my mom, when she was at home with my brothers and I would come home from high school she would follow me around just talking and talking!
This was so interesting, because it’s something I’ve never thought about before. I never really see you as gone from the blogging world for long, though. So I don’t mind talking in real life, but i much prefer to type/write things out. I’ve found that when I’m trying to tell a story (with my voice) I jumble over words and things just don’t come out like they do in my head, which is frustrating to me.
I also have a hard time in person telling a story, I want to get it out so fast the words all blur together!
This was really interesting. I never thought about it like that. And I’m not sure actually. I think in general I’m probably not much of a talker. I’m comfortable in silence. But I’m fairly social and love to be with others. I would also agree that it helps my new situation here in Germany as a SAHM. Great post!
Thanks, I often wonder if a certain type of personality is drawn to this sort of life and can be well on their own.
I loved reading this – as I am a big talker when it comes to my Hubby and people I know. I just can keep talking for hours and luckily my Hubs is the same. I am also really comfortable in silence too – strange mix I think!
I think it is a great mix and one I wish sometimes I had!
I’m a huge chatterbox, I’m afraid. But then I am the oldest of 10 children (with my closest sibling born only 14 months after me), so I’ve had plenty of practice. My poor Swedish husband who is more of the strong, silent type didn’t know what hit him when I arrived in his life.
O goodness I would imagine with 10 children you would need to talk all the time!
Erm, I don’t really stop talking, so if I am quiet it’s generally because I’m blue or down. Sometimes it is SO lovely to sit in companionable silence though, just happy.