How To Be Embarrassing In Subway

I am very lucky to live close enough to work to be able to go home for lunch if I want to. Friday was super crazy at work and getting to see Mr. Hemborg for a few minutes while getting something to eat was exactly what I needed.

 As I walked up to the front door I could hear the baseball game on the television. When I opened the front door, to our tiny studio, I was not greeted by Mr. Hemborg though so I called out to see if he was in the bathroom. When there was no reply I cautiously peered into the bathroom scared I would see him passed out on the floor or something as he must be in the apartment with the tv, computer and lights on right. So when to my relief he was not in the bathroom passed out I was a bit annoyed, where was he and why was everything still on. He does not drive so if he is off from school he is 99% of the time at the house and right now we only have one cell phone for the two of us so I could not call him.

Thinking maybe he walked to the liquor store across the street I walked to the sidewalk and stood looking anxiously at the people walking out of the store. At this point I must have looked odd as the guy doing work next door said hello in a concerned way and then not wanting to seem to crazy I went back inside.

After standing in our apartment for about five minutes I decided that I was being kinda crazy and would just get lunch and call him when I got back to work.

I then walked to Subway and while I was ordering I kept looking over my shoulder to see if I would spot Mr. Hemborg coming back from wherever he had been. Feeling like I was being really rude to the lady helping me I said I was waiting for my husband to show up but he was taking to long so I was just going to get my food and go. So now I was not only being rude but lying to the lady at Subway.

This is the point where I act like a psycho as if all that other stuff is just totally normal. While filling up my drink I see the reflection of khaki Dickies and black vans walking outside. Sure that this is Mr. Hemborg since he has worn those pants almost everyday the past week and those are the new shoes we just got him I turn around and at a very elevated tone yell his name.

Yelling someones name in the middle of a Subway ensures that everyone there will freeze and stare at you then do the slow head turn to stare at whoever was yelled at. Luckily (as if anything would really be considered lucky at this point) it was Mr. Hemborg who I yelled at and he was standing in shock on the sidewalk in front of the entrance. Realizing I look like some wacko stalker girl I starting gesturing for him to come in and talk to me so everyone in Subway will be assured I indeed know the man I yelled at and he is willing to talk to me.

The thing is though that Mr. Hemborg was holding a case of beer, an Arizona Iced Tea, a bag of chips and a Redbox movie. Not really how you want to just stroll into Subway but I was not to be let down so he walked about a foot into the store. Then I made him put the Arizona Iced Tea and movie in my purse to really send home the point I knew this man.

In an act of trying to save any scrap of decency his wife had at this point Mr. Hemborg ushered me out of Subway and home.

Turns out he was trying to surprise me with a movie and treats when I came home since he knew I had a rough week at work.

So that is my friends how to embarrass yourself and husband for that matter in the middle of a Subway.

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