Each week it seems like I am having a little mini breakdown in regards to moving. Since we sent in my application the breakdowns have been as varied as a girl going through puberty.
Last week it was because when we move I will not be able to just get in my car and drive to Target. Yes, it was ridiculous but it felt like losing a little part of my independence. In Sweden I will be able to walk or take the bus to an equivalent style store but it did not seem the same to me in the moment.
When I calmed down and talked it out with Mr. Hemborg he gave me a major confidence boost with how moving to a foreign country is showing how much independence I have on the grander scale.
This week it was when we were talking about the logistics of shipping our stuff. (Side note anyone that has moved their personal belongings via cargo ship please let me know) It is a scary process since neither of us has ever done it. Then it brought up all these emotions of now that we are just getting established what are we doing packing everything up and shipping it away.
Part of us just wants to say screw it we can always get new things but mostly what I want to come with us is wedding presents and my great grandmothers china. Those are not just go to the store and replace type of items.
The other thing getting to us I think is the American ideal of what should happen now that we are married. It seems like ok now it is time to buy a house with granite counter tops in a nice neighborhood, then once we have personalized the house we can start trying to get pregnant.
That ideal is not us though.
While I am sure that works out great for others we are more of your live in a city with a balcony that has great view sort. It is hard though to see how the move is getting us closer to our dreams when we see our friends working towards their house in the sub-burbs dreams all around us.
What calmed me and us down from this last breakdown was googling images and things to do in the city we want to move to in Sweden.
At this stage it is all very “eyes on the gold” and “in it to win it”.